Those Crazy Chickens

So as you know I am an animal lover. I let them get deep inside my sole. They make me who I am. Every now and then they do something to make me smile and giggle more than usual. This morning at 4:00am those crazy chickens did just that.

My stall area for the horses is about 80' long. It has a roof all the way across. One area of that is for my tack shed. My chicken have discovered that it is the ultimate roosting place. One or more even think it is great for laying eggs.... not so much. They tend to roll off. If I am lucky they don't crack and then in the refrig they go.

So this morning as I was feeding I looked up at the chickens and there was two of them snuggled right up against each other right on the edge of the shed. Now it doesn't sound like much but to me something as simple and goofy as that will make my day.

Take life and experience it. I find myself staring at the new batch of chicks. How cute and innocent they are. They like me are trying to survive. They have their mom and I have my God. If we both just listen and are obdient we will make it and in the process enjoy a full and exciting life.

My Blog page is kind of boring.

I just went to visit my friend Brooke's blog page and realized mine is rather boring in appearance. Give me some time and it will be not only good reading but a visual delight.

My Four Legged Motivation.... and some two legged too.

Amy and Ginger snuggling

Stray, she is the BOSS !

Samantha & Minnie getting ready to ride.

Bubba the mule.

So most of my Facebook friends know all about my farm in Gilbert. It really is one of the main things that keeps me going. I LOVE !!!!! animals. Always have and always will. God has been so kind and has brought me so many different animals in my lifetime.

I am going to list the ones we have now and it might give you a little perspective of how much I love critters.

We currently have;
3 Horses - Stray, Minnie & Amy
1 Mule -   Bubbha
1 Pony-  Ginger
3 Dogs - Bustah, Corky & Blue
6 Indoor cats - Precious (18 yrs young), Paul, Junior, Boo-boo, Sylvia & our     newest addition Psycho.

That's 14 right there. Ahhh but there is a few more.
 3 Outside Stray Cats - Fluffy (she found us probaby 8 years ago), Little Guy, and now there is a new black & white cat hanging around eating with us. So That makes it 17 critters to care for.  Not done yet. The chickens. I am not really sure on that number but there are about 10 Hens and 4 Roosters. Oh and Octi Mom ( she is a hen that recently raised had 5 chicks ) she now has a new batch of 7 chicks.

Some of you may remember Octi -Mom. She is an incredible mom. Her first batch started out with eight but through different circumstances lost three babies. Those five that were left did all grow up and are among the ten hens and four roosters. Octi-Mom fought off many hawk attacks. I even had the neighbors on hawk vs chicken alert. That hen would scream and scream when danger was near. She would put her babies somewhere safe and then put herself out there to draw the hawk away. I saw her get swooped upon a couple of time. My poor next door neighbor, one day she told me she was indisposed (if you know what I mean) and heard Octi-Mom screaming. She told me she felt frustrated because she couldn't get out there quick enough to help her.  Those hawks are very agressive. They really had very little fear of me or any human for that matter.

Not all the chickens and roosters have names but some do. There is of course Octi-Mom, she has a twin sister so they were formally The Twins, then there is Funky Chicken who is my oldest rooster. He is a grandson of the first rooster I had  a few years ago. Then we have Punky Chicken, and Blackie. Blackie is from Octi's last batch.

So lets see that was 17 four legged critters plus 14 two legged and then 7 chicks.......and a partridge in a pear tree. Well maybe not a partridge but maybe a hawk or two.

When I first was diagnosed I did panic. I was desperately trying to make arrangements for my horses, mule and pony. I was emailing people and asking my friends if they would take this one or that one.  I didn't really get any positive responses...... so I thought.  Well once again I have to bring the God thing up.  I finally realized God was telling me Whoaa there sister. Did I say I you were going somewhere? Is there something you know that I don't? Which is impossible with God. I kind of had to stop and readjust my brain.  God let me know that He was the one who gave me all these animals to take care of and He would make arrangements happen If and When it is necessary.

I realized that my animals were one of the things that would get me through this battle. I LOVE !!!!! scooping poop. When I go outside to do my chores I feel a special kind of peace fall over me. There have been so many times I just stand there and thank God for all that He has given me.

It is coming up on summer. It is HOT ! I know that and some days I wonder if it will ever be cool again. But for me it is also a wonderful time. I get outside early early early. In another month or two at this time in the morn I will be getting ready to go outside and start chores. Nothing like a desert sunrise. I look to the East and I am amazed at how awesome it is to see the sun coming up.

Well it is almost 5am now. I have already been out to feed the horses. It is a schedule I created years ago and I just can't seem to break it. But I do love my quiet time in the morn. My Sissy Suz spent the night because they had to turn the water off at the old house. I am anxious for her to wake up and we can sit and talk with a good cup-o-jo.

Love you all !!!! Have a great day.

How can I compare my life with those in Japan?

So I haven't really had anything on my mind that I thought was worth writing.....until now.  I was so blessed today to spend some time with my very dear friend Sissy Suz.  Sissy and her husband are in the process of moving to Payson. Her kids and grand kids are all in Payson and it just makes sense they should be there. God has blessed them with an awesome house there. On my way over I was overcome with a real sense of sadness. I knew when I walked into the all familiar house that I have spent soooo much time in that I would cry. Just like I am now as I write this. And I did !!! I hugged my sissy and held on for a few moments as I sobbed.

I am not loosing Suz but I guess the thought of not being able to just pick up and go see her seems dismal at the least. I actually have been through a very similar situation before and I think that brought up some old emotions.

Then there is Japan. I feel like how can I be sad or feel like I have been dealt a bad hand. What if you were a brand new mommy and a huge earthquake came and rocked your world.  I keep seeing a new mom trying to survive under the circumstances I have seen in Japan. I can't even wrap my head around it. How overwhelming, devastating, hopeless, and desperate would I be. Can you even think of how anyone over there is even coping with that huge disaster. It just blows my mind. Every second of every day I am so blessed. I have a roof over my head and food in my refrig, I have a beautiful grandson and I know right where he is. I don't have to search under piles of broken homes.  It really makes me think. It makes everything seem so small compared to that.

That is where faith would have to come in and take over. What other choice would you have. All I can say is be thankful...very very very thankful. And then be thankful again. Our hard times are never going to compare to that new mom that can't find diapers, food, a warm dry bed, or clean clothes and blankets for her baby.

It makes my cancer look like a common cold.

Living by Faith

Good morning! I was going to try and sleep in but I had a run in with a coyote yesterday morning. It was right outside my side door and it was after a couple of my chickens. I am going to be on the watch today. Ahhh life on the farm. Always a surprise.

So I don't want to go all spiritual on you but I really feel like I need to share that part of my life. It is after all the number one reason I live like I do.  Being a believer in Christ and putting your heart and soul into that belief is one of the most calming yet confusing things I have done.  I am not a big reader so I don't read the bible anywhere near what I should. Right now I am not even going to church on any kind of regular basis. But my heart lives by the fact that there is a God and He loves me. That one simple thing is what makes me feel safe and at peace with my disease. I often wonder what people do when they don't have Jesus in their life. Where do they turn for comfort?

Don't get me wrong. I still have thoughts like "why me" or "I can't take this anymore". But they usually only are there for a moment and then I remember who is watching over me and has a plan for me and then I am good again.

Being a Christian doesn't mean your life is easy. It is actually one of the hardest things you will experience. God doesn't hand you things on a plate. You have choices and decisions to make. But when you pray and focus on God the choices and decisions become so much more clear. For me anyway.

If you do not believe in God I suggest you look into it. There is a lot to learn and it does get confusing. But the rewards are amazing. Well I guess that is enough on that at least for now. I will mention my faith from time to time because without it I wouldn't even be writing this blog. Have a great day !!!!!

More DOs

I have soooooo much stuff running through my head it kinda hurts. Just kidding. I do have a lot of thoughts though that I do so want to share.

Another do. Do allow yourself as many days as you need to bounce back from whatever treatment you are having. BUT !!!! the second you even start to feel better get up and get going. My treatments are every other week. It is so funny because everyone knows we call it "bad week" "good week". Many of my friends keep up with my schedule and we make plans all around my "good weeks". It is a little annoying to live like that BUT !!!! the point is you are LIVING !!!  Look at every second different. You will find that some things you thought might be the most important are merely a speck in the whole picture.

I have done things that I never would have done if not for the cancer. Plan vacations !!!!! So far I have been to a dude ranch, visited my son, his wife and my grandson in Seattle, the big one was a cruise to Europe with three of my BFFs. Talk about fun !!! People ask me what I liked best and I always have to say just being with my friends. What an experience. I am going back up to Seattle in May and then Gary and I will be going on our third cruise to Alaska. The other two I wasn't sick though. I love Alaska!

Another BIG do is when you go ANYWHERE fix yourself up. Put makeup on, your wig if you have/need one and put some nice clothes on. NO sweat pants allowed. You feel so much better. My friends have a hard time realizing I am sick because I try to look good , therefore I feel good, therefore I look good. See how it kinda works.

Every situation is different. You have to learn the pattern of how you are going to feel and plan around it. Alright I guess enough for now.

My son is so sweet. There are now 18 little videos of Jordan on youtube. If watching my little monkey man isn't a reason to keep going I don't know what would be.

The DOs of LIVING with cancer.

Good morning !!!!! Finally feeling like a human again. I can't really explain how it feels I just know it doesn't feel right. Overall though this has been an easy round of treatments. YAHOO !!!!!

So if and when you are diagnosed with cancer, or even if some one you know and love is there are some things you should do.

1. BE POSITIVE !!!!! Don't let the words scare you or freak you out. It is what it is and you have to move forward. Do it in a positive way. If you are a Christian you know God has a plan. Your part in that is to be obedient and most of all have FAITH.  Surround yourself with happy, positive people. You are allowed a pity party every so often but you should be the only guest. Think about how you are going to beat the disease and how you are going to LIVE with it. I am not saying it is easy. It's not! Just like anything else in life you have to want it.

2. Make sure you trust and respect your doctor and the staff he works with. Including the receptionist and all the nurses. I love my doctor. He and all the people at the office have become a huge ! part of my life. Like an extended family. One of the reasons we have that relationship is because I come into that office with a smile and a laugh every time. Your doctor is not a miracle worker (only God is) , he can only do what he knows is best for you. Don't ask silly questions like How long do I have to live? Am I going to die? Every patient is different.Your doctor is there to provide as much as care as he is capable of. When I got my diagnoses I asked "Can we manage this?'. His answer was absolutely. And we have !!! For two years now.

3. Take charge of your care and your body. Get copies of all your test results and lab work. Get to really know your body. Only you can feel what is going on. Your doctor will appreciate it too. My doctor laughs because on my visit I will tell him what I have in mind for treatments. Like now I told him I would like to go through April with chemo then I need a break. He gets a kick out of that but I know he appreciates that I know what I can take and will ask for it. I am sure if he didn't agree he would let me know.

4. Surround yourself with friends and family that will laugh with you. I say that again because if it weren't for all the positive encouragement I get I probably would have given up a long time ago. It may sound funny but FaceBook has been such a great way to share my stories and when I feel like caca I let my friends know. I receive a lot of prayer and for me that is very important. When I first started chemo I a couple of chemo parties right there in the big room. One group of friends even brought a crock pot full of yummy food. We laughed and had such a good time.

Well I guess that is enough for today. It is only 4:08am. I love this time of day, but I can see my typing is a little crazy. I might even venture out today. I will of course be scooping poop. That is what I do after all.

In the beginning part II

Sorry to leave ya hanging out there but first things first. Before I get back to the story of how this all came about I want to do a CT Scan update. I had my last one on Thursday March 10,2011. It was only three weeks after my last one. He had me a little concerned. The results were good. Nothing has changed. That really is a good thing. What they think is happening is the actual cancer is lessening and it is just leaving scars. I'll take it !!!!!!! Well back to the story so we can get on with more stories and encouragement.

So back to ER we went on Sunday morning. Like I said no shower no prep for staying. They did the CT Scan and found suspicious things (not sure on the techy term). They suggested I stay over and have a biopsy on Monday morn. Okay that sounds a little scary but I am not one to scare easy. At this time I am thinking Valley Fever. What else would it be? No one plays in the dirt and dust more than me so it just makes sense. The hospital sent in a pulmonary specialist to talk to me. I can' remember much of what he said but I do remember him saying"You know this could be cancer?"No I really hadn't gone with that angle. He said they would send in an oncologist to talk to me.

That is the first time I met my now very special doctor Dr. P Bhalla. Well after he left I was sure I had cancer. He was very nice but very direct and didn't sugar coat anything. He arranged an appointment for me at his office for Tuesday after I get out of the hospital.

I had my biopsy as scheduled and went home that afternoon. I got to say my head was spinning but all along I know my faith in God will get me through. I am a christian and believe that God is my rock. If I keep my eyes focused on Him I can get through anything. On Tuesday I went to Bhalla's office and we scheduled a PET Scan. That is a much more intense test than the CT scan.

The scan was on that Thursday. Things were moving fast. On Friday I was out riding with my Granddaughter and a very good friend. I was on my goofy pony Ginger. My phone started ringing and Ginger didn't like it I am trying to answer my phone while Ginger is spinning around. I finally just tossed the phone to get the ringing out of poor Ginger's ear. I got off and retrieved the phone from somewhere in the alfalfa field.  I listened to the message and it was my doctor, Dr. Bhalla himself. Now my heart was pounding. That can't be good if he is calling himself. A little freaked out we finished the ride back to the trailer. I tried calling back but didn't get through. Then another call came from their office which somehow I missed too. This telephone tag was getting just a little crazy. They were trying to make sure I had made a follow-up appointment to get my results. I did already have one so all was well.

On March 24th, 2009 at 1:00pm Gary and I went to my appointment. Of course you are praying for the best but are nervous for the worst. It turns out I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. It is colon cancer that had spread to my lungs. This kind of came as a shock because the brush I had with colon cancer was back in 2000 and was considered Stage I which requires no treatment of any kind.

Oh well it is what it is. Dr. Bhalla explained a little then passed me on to his nurse Dianne. Dianne is one of the dearest people you will ever find. She has turned out to be a huge part of my life and I love her dearly. Anyway Dianne gave me a huge packaged of info and carefully explained what was going to happen. And off we go on the next two year journey that has been an amazing walk. I think that gives you the basics. I hope if you read this you will laugh with me and maybe even cry with me. If you do have cancer that you will learn how to LIVE !!!! with it and make the most of every second of every day. Even the yucky ones.

In the beginning

It was two years ago my journey began. In mid February of 2009 I was still working at Target. I was getting ready for work and I started coughing. It sounds gross but some phlem came up and I spit it out. There it was, the smallest amount of blood. Just like a thin thread. I thought it was odd so I mentioned it to my peeps at work. Eeeek !! they all went crazy and said get to a doctor, quick!

I did go to ER on Saturday morning. Of course they took xrays. A Nurse practitioner came in to give me my results. This is what she said ( I will never forget it) "well cancer looks different" "yours just looks gunky". What the heck is gunky? Well she gave me the standard Zpack and said I had walking pneumonia. Hummm? I didn't feel sick.

She also advised I see my regular doctor after a few days. Well when some one tells you you are sick you actually start feeling sick. It was so silly. After a few days I made the appointment with my regular doctor. He also took x-rays. He also said he didn't see anything going on and sent me on my way. He did say I should come back in a month for a follow up.

Off I went, back to work and feeling great. A month goes by and I should be going back to the doctor. I remember it was a Saturday and I coughed again and this time a rather sizable amount of blood was present. Wow! That's not good I thought. Well being the person I am I took a shower, got the horses fed and cleaned my poop ( horse poop that is)( you will find I talk about my poop a lot) and made sure things were in order in case they made me stay in the hospital. My husband Gary and I went back to ER.

One of the male nurses remembered me. He said" you were in here before, you had a fractured rib" What !!!!????  I said " yes I was in here but not for that. I don't have a fractured rib. He showed me the xray. For goodness sake I DID have a fractured rib.  Once again the xray did not produce anything odd but they referred me to a pulmonary specialist. Off we went back home.

Later that day the phone rang and it was the hospital. The radiologist that read my x-ray had seen something and wanted me back for a CT Scan. Well I guess you could say that was a defining moment for the story for the next two years.

We didn't go back that day we waited and went Sunday morning. This time no shower, no chores. After all I was just going for a CT Scan.

The rest of this story later. I have to go do my poop chores and get ready for chemo.